Prayer Journal: Day 11. A Reflection about Death, Grief, and Peace.

Day 11

Today on the anniversary of 9/11, I would like to share a reflection about death, grief, and peace.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. – Phil. 4: 6, 7.

It seems that I have a lot of anxiety.

Is being “anxious for nothing” an impossible directive? It’s hard to be thankful for something when I feel like I’m going to lose it.

I really miss my dad. I miss him so much it hurts sometimes. I remember an incident the week before my dad died.  One of my difficult clients asked for a refund that week. And I still helped one of my fellow entrepreneurs during a barter the week that my dad died. It’s like I was incapable of stopping my work when I really needed to. Didn’t I deserve to rest?

Jesus says that he will give us peace. He will guard our minds.

My dad was a hard worker. So am I.

Maybe I am afraid that if I cut back on work and delegate more, I would be less like my dad. I don’t know any other way to be.

They say that hearing is one of the last senses to go before you die. I was reading the hospice book right before my dad died because my mom asked me to. One of the last things I said to my dad before he died is, “it’s going to be okay.”

It is always okay when Jesus is taking care of you. He is taking care of my dad.

Maybe that is what it means to rest in peace. We have to claim it to feel it. And we deserve it. Amen.

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