Prayer Journal: Day 2

Day 2

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest in your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. – Matthew 11:28-30

All my life I’ve been a hard worker. I take my work seriously. I’m a perfectionist. This recipe often leads to burnout, and my self care goes to the wayside. Sometimes I blame others for my bad self care. But most of the time I blame myself. I am hard on myself. Jesus writes us a prescription for rest. We must set down our burdens and take on His burden, which is light.

I’ve sometimes considered quitting when I am feeling burnt out. But somehow I can never quit. I am addicted to the cycle of achievement and exhaustion. Going the extra mile doesn’t increase my pay in some cases. So I’m not gaining much by being exhausted.

What would it look like if I truly gave my burdens to God? And what would He want me to do instead of all my work? Would I keep staying on my hamster wheel? Or would I all of a sudden have no money to tithe? I worry about money a lot, even though my needs are mostly taken care of by my husband. Thankfully he has a good job. Paying the mortgage doesn’t depend on my income. My income pays for my car and little outings, gifts, travel, etc. I don’t make much, but I like having spending money. I like being able to tithe.

Are God and money really in conflict always? Or is there a healthy balance somewhere? I’m often puzzled by money mindset and mainstream business advice and how it appears to conflict with God’s call to make us serve Him. I don’t have an answer and can only pray that one day I will. 

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